A Little Less Mrs. Smith

Hi guys. I am still working out, but still eating bad. Got my weekly Biggest Loser Inspiration from the show yesterday. Have you seen how awesome they are looking? You never see a weightloss story that is like “I was much happier being fat” or “I miss my giant Ham Hock arms!” Each day I am going to try again.

Its funny how 15 minutes on the exercise bike feels fine, but 20 minutes about kills me. I can see so much change in my body even if the scale hates me (I changed my weight ticker from 244 to 247, how bad does that suck)

I am going to keep going on and trying. I have alot of emotional stuff going on, I am nervous about something and I think that is what is screwing me up with my eating. Some stuff is good, it is all good really. It is hard to explain. One, we are getting a new vehicle. I am excited but big purchases make me nervous. And the other thing is that after 19 years of verbal torture my Mom is finally thinking about leaving my step-dad and there is so much more stuff to that than I can get into right now. I am so happy but we have a ways to go before hse can leave him and i am terrified she will change her mind.

I feel better just writing that. I can’t wait to say she left.

I am feeling a bit lost. I have been eating bad again. I was on point most of last week, exercising as I ahve been and lost nota pound. In fact I might be up a pound. I get so discouraged.   I can restrict my calories like I want to because of breastfeeding.   Now I am dreading working out like I just want to quit. But I can’t quit. I need to love myself. This is the year I need to lookin the mirror and like what I see.

Nicole

I have a terrible head cold, a 2 day head ache. I just want my bed.   I am still having a Biggest Loser weigh in this week, watching my food and everything.  Just checking in so you know I am alive, even if it is just barely.

I had a rough 2 weeks I’d say, on and off the wagon. Thursday i weighed in at 244 at the end of my V-Day challenge, making me lose 8 pounds over the challenge.  Not bad. I joined Julie’s challenge to lose 10 pounds by Easter I hope I can do it.

Tomorrow I am getting back on the wagon full force.  Next Saturday I want a good weigh in. I am hoping for 240 but I will take 242.  

 I hope you all are having a fabulous weekend.

Nicole

Ugh. I have slid steadily downhill since last weekend, from Saturday before the Superbowl. Every day I make poor food choices and make excuses for it, every day.   What is wrong with me? Can someone please help motivate me? All day today, it was going to be “my day” back in the saddle, and no, I just ate meatloaf, potatoes, and gravy for lunch.  I gained a pound, so I sulking, and punishing myself, and just thinking so negative.

Help me turn this around buddies.

The only good thing I can say is that I am still exercising.

I keep making excuses to eat bad, it is terrible, BUT I am being faithful in my exercises.
I met my mini-goal on Saturday and I set my new one to 238 pounds, which is what I weighed on my wedding day. My wedding day is one of the very few days since I was 12 that I have felt remotely pretty. That is so pathetic.

I got all of my pictures developed from the holidays and I am excited to scrapbook as soon as I get some Me time. (Maybe this weekend?) I have alot of scrapboooking coming up. I need to finsh the book of the year for 2007 with our Christmas pictures, start the 2008 book with our New Year’s pics, and scrapbook Danielle’s 8 month photos in her book. (I do a seperate book for the girls for the very first year of ther life then all of their pics just go into the book of the year after that). I also printed some various shots of me over the holidays to put in my Goal Scrapbook. I am also typing a Catty List of reasons I am trying to lose weight to add to that. I will post it here too when i finish it.

Well I am at work. My goal this week is to break even or lose a pound. I need to lose 3 pounds by Valentine’s Day for the challenge though, so lets hope I get my eating under control.

Talk to you soon!
‘Nicole