http://nicole622.buddyslim.com The struggle to look in the mirror...and smile =) Fri, 02 Jan 2009 14:02:24 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en The last few days I kept trying to find the right words for how this year is going to go. Words that usually flow from my fingertips so easily, evaded me. Why? Because some where in me I finally realized it doesn’t have to be a new year, a new ... http://nicole622.buddyslim.com/2009/01/02/2009-here-i-come/ There is something about the holidays that always brings my attention back to how fat I am. Every outfit i put on, every party I go to, every pic snapped is a moment where my hate for myself wells up and overwhlems me. It chokes off my happiness, and makes me ... http://nicole622.buddyslim.com/2008/12/28/holidayshippodays/ Hi everyone. I hope things are going better for you than they are for me, diet/exercise wise. Ovferall, life is going good. I am trying to find my wayback. I am excited for the next season of Biggest Loser. New Year is about to start.  Maybe I can shed this ... http://nicole622.buddyslim.com/2008/12/27/insert-motivational-comment-here/ I started exercising LAST November at this time, weighing in at 256 pounds, 258 before the new year. A year later I am down (drum roll please) o 245 pounds. At one point I was down 28 pounds. What happened to me? Why do I never believe I am worth it? Why ... http://nicole622.buddyslim.com/2008/11/06/the-prodigal-daughter-returns/ I have been doing excellent this week meeting my goals. I ahve been drinking nothing but water or milk.  As of thursday I have  walked 3 times (and I will walk again today) on the treadmill, and not just walked but at some points I have bumped up and jogged!  ... http://nicole622.buddyslim.com/2008/10/02/work-it/ This week I am going to: drink plenty of water. Nothing but water or milk do 6 minute abs 5 days this week do Biggest Loser Toning 3 days this week Walk on the treadmill for 20 minutes (or outside) 5 days this week. Eat cereal everyday for breakfast. I am going print this out and  ... http://nicole622.buddyslim.com/2008/09/28/my-weekly-goals/ This week I am going to: Make sure I am drinking enough water I am going to work on increasing my exercise. I have been doing good of doing 15 minutes daily 5 days a week, but that is not how hard I was working a few months ago.  I am also going to ... http://nicole622.buddyslim.com/2008/09/21/looking-ahead-no-more-drama/ and there it is I sit, our conversation almost of student and teacher and we go over things. "Lie back" So I do, and the paper crinkles beneath me. I feel large and awkward which has been the theme of my life since age 11. Modesty departed me when I gave birth ... http://nicole622.buddyslim.com/2008/09/18/and-there-it-is/ So today is my first day back to work after our staycation, and Danielle had some 5 AM drama.  I finally get her back to sleep and  Ray's alarm goes off. He takes down the baby gate and I drift off to sleep and Pammy comes sneaking in with freezing ... http://nicole622.buddyslim.com/2008/09/08/slept-in-first-day-back/ So I am finishing up my vacation this week. I took a spur of the moment vacation last week because things at my job where becoming.......too much.  I just feel stressed. Last Friday I had a job interview for a NORMAL job. 8-5 MOnday-Friday no nights, no weekends. I won't hear ... http://nicole622.buddyslim.com/2008/09/06/vacations-all-i-ever-wanted-vacation-had-to-get-away/